


I hope that I don't fuck this up

by Masterofkarate



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, Apologies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Jealousy, Lack of Communication, M/M, Neck Kissing, Pet Names, Substance Abuse, and makes a big deal out of nothing, charlie gets in his own head, sorry the dialogue is not always reader friendly, they are meant to be like longwinded rants (for lack of a better word), they love each other a lot, which is harder to handle in text than audibly imo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:49:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22287415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterofkarate/pseuds/Masterofkarate
Summary: Charlie gets in his own head and overthinks and talks too much and Mac just tells him he's being dumb. They love each other a lot.insp by I hope that I don't fuck this up by dollar signs.Enjoy 💖
Relationships: Charlie Kelly/Mac McDonald
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	I hope that I don't fuck this up

**Author's Note:**

> written in one feverish go on my cracked phone, which is how my best charmac is written.

The sun was peeking out from behind the buildings as Charlie trudged through the street. He'd passed only a handful of people. A few of them were like him, preparing to say goodbye to yesterday, not quite ready for today. The rest were people who seemed to live by the sun, saying hello to the new day with it. Charlie knew this was the worst time to let yourself into your boyfriend's apartment. Waking somebody between yesterday and today was cruel, especially when they weren't done sleeping through yesterday's frustration. Waking somebody up to start today too soon by trying to fix yesterday without letting the transition help was fucked. But Charlie wouldn't be able to leave yesterday behind until it was figured out. How could he start a new day when Mac was mad at him?

Thank god Mac had given him a spare key to the apartment. He tiptoed inside, being as quiet as physically possible. No matter how lit he was, he couldn't risk waking up Dennis at this hour and getting his key privileges revoked.

He stopped in the kitchen for a gulp of liquid courage. Not that he hadn't drank enough throughout the night. Not that anything would offset the wooziness in his skull from all of the toxins he'd been breathing in on and off for ~~years~~ hours. It was more symbolic than anything. 

He wiped the sting of the brown liquor off his lips with the back of his hands and snuck into Mac's room. He paused for a moment, unable to breathe or move or think when he saw Mac. Mac, splayed out on his bed, sheets wrapped haphazardly around his legs, t-shirt riding up to show his happy trail, hair looking twice as long in its soft sleepy mess. Mac, snoring so quietly you had to try to hear it, arms not flexed to show his muscles but curled in right to his chest. Mac, his Mac, gorgeous and perfect. Charlie knew he was the only one who got to see Mac like this consistently, relaxed, unguarded, quiet. Charlie knew how lucky he was.

Recovering from momentary paralysis, he gathered his courage and crouched beside the bed. He reached out to Mac's shoulder, hand freezing just an inch over him. Charlie took in a sharp breath and let his hand fall, he gently shook Mac awake.

Torn from the world of yesterday with no warning, Mac woke up in a state of confusion. Maybe a little fear. 

"Huh? What?" Mac asked, sitting up before he even opened his eyes. When he did open his eyes and saw Charlie, he yawned and asked, "What time is it?"

"Uh. Don't know. Sun's up," Charlie said quietly. Before Mac responded, Charlie continued with less hesitation, letting the words just come out, "Listen, it's late. Or early. Or whatever. Sorry. But I didn't sleep since yesterday 'cause like I tried but I kept getting all sad that you were mad and I know like it should be cool if you're mad because like boyfriends get mad at each other sometimes and like I deserved it because I know I can be annoying and like I-"

"What the fuck is going on?" Mac tried to interrupt, but Charlie continued over him. The words were like a train that ran from his heart to his vocal chords to Mac's ears and it didn't make any extra stops for anybody. 

"I get that like I can't just like get angry at Dennis for no reason, 'cause he's your friend, he's our friend, he's my friend, even if he says something about your muscles, because like who wouldn't say something about your muscles, because like look at them, but I can't just scream and then drink all the wine we have, but I really thought wine would be better because nobody ever buys it, but like I get that it was stupid and-"

"Charlie! What the fuck is going on?" Mac shouted. Well maybe not shouted. But he was louder than before. He almost got the train to stop, Charlie's stomach dropped and his heart (the station the train started at) seemed to stop for half a second. After just a brief pause, though, the train kept chugging along.

"Anyway, sorry, I mean, like for everything. Like sorry for rambling but also sorry for yesterday. I tried to write you a song to say sorry, but Frank said no good love songs have the words rat, cheese, or dumpster in them. So I scrapped the song. So I had to talk, which is harder than singing. And I'm sorry I woke you up, but like I couldn't go to sleep and I was so scared if you woke up before I said sorry you'd wanna break up with me."

There was a beat of silence. When Mac was pretty certain Charlie was done, he started, "Dude, babe, I don't know what you think happened yesterday, but I had  _ no  _ clue we were… fighting? Like at no point was I pissed at you, definitely not enough to want to break up with you."

"Wait, really?" Charlie asked softly. "Dee said I was acting jealous and clingy and that no dude wants that in a boyfriend."

"Yeah, really," Mac said quietly. He leaned over the side of the bed, where Charlie was still crouching, and cupped Charlie's cheek. Charlie loved the way Mac's thumb seemed to catch on the stubble on his face. Charlie couldn't help but lean into the touch, eyes fluttering shut with the first sense of calmness he'd felt all night. He turned his head and kissed Mac's wrist and then his palm. 

Mac smiled and said, "Yeah, I don't even remember you getting that jealous? Actually, Frank was the one who said he shouldn't say shit about my muscles, Frank was watching out for you. I remember you got a little mad, but I didn't care. We're all always screaming. And I wasn't mad at you for drinking the wine because I thought you were being a dick, I just didn't want you to pass out too early, 'cause i was having fun hanging out. Wine usually makes you sleepy drunk. 

Christ, Charlie, you can be such an idiot. Like, I fucking love you. If I was actually mad, I'd let you know. And I'd  _ never  _ immediately jump to breaking up with you. If we ever break up, it would take a hell of a lot. I mean, let's face it, we are perfect for each other, there's nobody in the world better for me. You just need to calm the fuck down. If you think I'm mad, ask me right away. We can talk about it. Don't act like an asshole and freak yourself out all night and wake me up at dawn. Like shit, I love you so fucking much, babe. You don't have anything to worry about."

They didn't make eye contact until Mac was done ranting. Charlie held back his tears until he saw the sincerity in Mac's eyes. Charlie was pretty sure nobody had said so many nice things in a row to him and meant it before. Mac did love him, Mac did want to be with him, so much so that he thought it was stupid Charlie would think otherwise.

"I- Mac- that's," Charlie muttered. He slowly stood before crawling onto the bed on his knees, leaning over to kiss Mac's cheek, not bothering to wipe the tears from his own yet. In a shaky whisper, he spoke again "That was really nice, babe. I love you too, a lot. I'm sorry. I just love you so much that I'm afraid I'm gonna fuck it up and lose you."

"You're never gonna lose me," Mac said. He wrapped his arms around Charlie's waist and pulled him. Charlie lost his balance on his knees and landed in Mac's lap, facing him. Mac kissed Charlie's forehead and said, "You're stuck with me, handsome. You just gotta stop freaking yourself out."

Charlie draped his arms over Mac's shoulders and pressed his face against Mac's neck. He pressed soft, chaste kisses to Mac's neck, soaking in the gentleness and the quiet of the moment. What a good way to put yesterday to rest, what a wonderful way to start today. 

Rubbing Charlie's back, Mac said, "I'm still tired as shit and I'm pretty sure you're still drunk, we should sleep."

On cue, as if his body remembered to be tired, Charlie yawned, but didn't detach himself from Mac's skin. It took two more requests and Mac slowly and gently shifting them for them to fully be laid down and curled up under the blankets. 

Half asleep, Charlie whispered, "Sorry again, honeydew. Love you."

Mac smiled at the name. One of Charlie's infinite pet names for him, it's as if there was a revolving door in Charlie's mind, with words that sounded cute (some of them, like honeydew definitely worked well. others, like mooncheese did not.) to try out on Mac. 

"Love you too, babe," Mac whispered. He yawned and said, "But tomorrow, I wanna hear that apology song you wrote. Fuck what Frank says, any song you wrote for me would be perfect. Cause it's by you."

Charlie let out an appreciative hum, which led almost directly into a snore. He was limp against Mac and that gave Mac a sense of peace. Feeling Charlie's warmth and weight against him, his usually tense muscles completely relaxed, that was the biggest comfort Mac had ever experienced. It's no wonder he fell asleep within a minute of hearing Charlie's first snore.


End file.
